By: Ethan Tabor

Yes, I just watched a select few NBA players compete in a HORSE Shootout Competition. In all honesty, this might prevent, even myself, from ever competing in a backyard game of horse again. I found myself THAT uninterested.

These are hard times. The world is on pause. No sports, no gambling. Hell, some people are even itching to go back to their dreadful work place. Incredible as it is, I found myself drowning in boredom even more than usual with this “competition.”
I’m still confused as to why I kept watching. The video quality alone reminded me of a video game i used to play on my Sega. My point is that it’s 2020. This was advertised enough to be a cure for the void Americans have without any live action sports to drool over. Needless to say, this was an epic fail in quality for the viewers to even somewhat feel entertained.

As for the competition, Chris Paul lost to WNBA star Allie Quigley in the first round. Quigley then faced off against Zach LaVine. I can’t even make this up, LaVine gave absolutely no fucks in this matchup. The rules made it clear that dunking was not an option, but between the legs, off the backboard, 360 layups? Fair game. LaVine refused to let a woman beat him or really even have a chance and its a shame. Quigley is a two time 3-point champion and I would have loved to see LaVine beat her at her own game Note: LaVine does have the record for 2nd most 3’s made in a game in the NBA, so it’s certainly part of his game as well.
At the end of the day we saw LaVine take on Mike Conley in the finals where he lost to the Utah Jazz veteran. I’d say he deserves it for being a prick, but I also remember the joy it used to bring me to play my sister 1-on-1 in the driveway growing up. I’d send her shit packing to the Amish house two doors down whenever she attempted a shot. Aside from being an athletic freak, I suppose me and Zach are much the same.

What we should all take from this is that you shouldn’t take good video content for granted and stay the fuck inside so we can watch real sports again soon. Thank you.